Breaking Free

     It's been quite a while since I blogged.  Quite a while since I sat down and attached my emotions and the happenings of my life to the motion of my fingers, manifesting into words, plunged into the depths of this virtual "reality".  And years later, here I am.  You can bet I've much to tell, much to share with those who are perhaps called to read what I've allowed to flow from my being.

    I'm confident that my last writings consisted of religious findings, religious revelation.  Most likely they consisted of an overwhelming love for "Jesus" and "God" and scripture.  BUT everything has changed.  The life I once lived is no longer. The person I once was, I am no more.

So what was it?  What was it that changed me?  And who have a transformed into?

    I can be honest in saying that these questions will take more than one blog entry to cover.  I will do my best to give the short version of a long and drawn out tale.  What happened is this..........

     I am a seeker, no doubt about that.  I, like most, sought for truth.  ONE truth.  I studied religion, Christianity to be exact, and I studied it with passion and dedication, with loyalty and drive.  I studied Christianity so intensely that I studied myself right out of this religion.  I continued to ponder "truth".

     Now I was a Christian for about 7 years. Adding also that I grew up beside a family who's belief system was that of Christianity.  But during those 7 years, I was EXTREME. The knowledge I had of "the Word" surpassed most and I swiftly found myself in debates with the elders of the church.  I challenged their beliefs and they reacted in such anger and abrasiveness that it only confirmed the findings of my studies.  This was enough for me to walk away from religion altogether. Not just because of the way I was treated when challenging the belief systems of these large institutions, but because it confirmed, with absoluteness, that the questions I asked could not be answered without bending the "truths" of other religious doctrine.

     A Christian will tell you, without flinching, that the Bible they are taught from does not contain, not one, contradiction. This is simply not true.  If you read the book for yourself, paying close attention, and not allowing any one soul to intervene with your study, you will find for yourself the overwhelming number of contractions.  It's quite simple really.

     All in all, I decided it best to leave the church, to leave this way of thinking, and to move forward with the seeking of "truth" I was searching for.  Please don't misunderstand.  The Bibles that I studied from, and there are many, contain many beautiful findings.  Words of wisdom, no doubt, blanket the pages of these books.  But know this, these books have been utilized throughout history to keep mankind under control.  Religion, as a whole, has turned our human race into war mongers and hypocrites.  It has turned us two-legged creatures into judgmental pawns in a scheme to separate the infinite source.  I finally decided that I was no longer going to be a pawn in this game of separation.

     It has been about three years now since I joyfully skipped away from religion.  I have lost friends and family members because of this decision, but I have gained many new friends, many new family members as well.  Might I just say that it has truly been liberating!!!!

     I can only describe my moment of deciding as a moment of absolute rebirth.  It truly was, and continues to be, an awakening.  I have never felt closer to an infinite source.  My decision to leave religion has only expanded the embrace that I feel from infinite.  And that is exciting!!!!

     Many will say, and believe me I've heard it, that I have fallen from grace.  There are many Christians who are praying for my return back to the faith.  But rest assured, true religion lies in love not judgment, and not condemnation.

How good it feels to be free!